Negativity is a dark prison where all your thoughts ceaselessly resound between the walls that contain you. Sometimes, you wouldn't know whether you'd ever make your way out; sometimes, you couldn't even recall how you ended up there. You always feel helpless thinking of the many little troubles filling your head. May it be overcoming an experience of failure, or lamenting over unfulfilled wishes, it's a constant battle.
Yes, it's definitely bad to be negative. That's what everybody says; and I believe in that too. But there would always be days when these dark clouds lurk above my head. Suddenly, I get blinded. I become incapable of appreciating anything at all. Then there comes a point when I realize I have no idea where I'm supposed to be. When I've run aground, I'd lose all self-esteem and forget who I am. It seems every circumstance suggests I can't be the person that I thought I could be, and that my hopeful visions are but a dream.
Life's tough; but I guess it's worse when you're in constant thought of every little instance that you feel you were responsible for. I wish it were that easy to just not worry at all. I know It's good to be optimistic and to appreciate what's in the present; but I learned there will always be real factors that would soon outweigh that positivity. It's a battle I always lose. I may know what to think but I'm always overpowered by these emotions.
Until now, I'm still figuring out how to step out of those dark clouds. Maybe I just need to take a break and ponder on what is missing. This turmoil inside me has to be silenced; and I guess I have to rebuild myself no matter what. I keep on saying to myself I'm never good enough; but I think that's both a bad thing and a good thing. On the brighter side, I still have a lot to improve; on the contrary, there are still shadows of doubt on myself needed to be erased. I hate to be a failure. That motivates and terrifies me at the same time. I'm never sure if my efforts are actually amounting into something. There had already been a lot of chances I've ruined and wasted. Though I managed to pick some important lessons along the way, I still wonder if I'd ever succeed again. Well, I really don't know. I realized anything can happen because life is precarious.
Life's tough; but I guess it's worse when you're in constant thought of every little instance that you feel you were responsible for. I wish it were that easy to just not worry at all. I know It's good to be optimistic and to appreciate what's in the present; but I learned there will always be real factors that would soon outweigh that positivity. It's a battle I always lose. I may know what to think but I'm always overpowered by these emotions.
Until now, I'm still figuring out how to step out of those dark clouds. Maybe I just need to take a break and ponder on what is missing. This turmoil inside me has to be silenced; and I guess I have to rebuild myself no matter what. I keep on saying to myself I'm never good enough; but I think that's both a bad thing and a good thing. On the brighter side, I still have a lot to improve; on the contrary, there are still shadows of doubt on myself needed to be erased. I hate to be a failure. That motivates and terrifies me at the same time. I'm never sure if my efforts are actually amounting into something. There had already been a lot of chances I've ruined and wasted. Though I managed to pick some important lessons along the way, I still wonder if I'd ever succeed again. Well, I really don't know. I realized anything can happen because life is precarious.
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