The First Step is Believing

Today is March 14, 2013, only seven days before I graduate from high school. I guess time really flies by so fast. It seems like it was just yesterday when I entered school as a freshman for the school year 2009 – 2010. Four years have passed and suddenly, here I am writing this article. During this span, a lot of interesting things have happened - troubles and triumphs alike that gave me valuable lessons that I will carry for the rest of my life.

Looking back, I was so different back then. Though right now I'm still a very introverted person, I used to think there was nothing really special in me. I was quite contented with what I had and what I already was. I thought I was destined to be stuck on that level and that I wouldn't actually amount into anything at all. However, as time passed by, I noticed that my life became so monotonous, and meaningless. Inevitably, I began to think about what my purpose would be and how my life would unfold. I envied a lot of my friends because they were good at something while I was not. They had talents that allowed them to do activities they enjoy, and they had friends whom they shared their interests with. For a while, these thoughts kept lingering in my mind. Eventually, I began to ask myself more questions. What if I was like them? How would it feel? I saw how they were so different from what I was. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to change. I wanted to have a goal and a purpose in my own life. But then I was also afraid and in doubt. Would I even make it? What if I'd only fail in the end? Can I conquer my fears? Well I couldn't answer all those questions at the time but all I knew was that I couldn't waste any more time. And so I challenged myself. Nothing would happen if I wouldn't even try. I needed to believe in myself because I knew I could never achieve anything if I wouldn't believe that I could. As they say, every journey begins with a single step, and for me, that step was to trust and believe in myself.

Time went by and from my experience, I realized that high school really was a period of learning and discover things about myself. It was a time to establish an identity. Through time, I discovered my potentials. I developed lots of ideas which I wanted to align with my own capabilities. My goal was to learn as much as I can so I could turn my ideas into real things. I knew I couldn't be the best among my peers or whoever, but I wanted to be the best person that I could be. I wanted to discover my potentials and I was so eager to develop them. Eventually, I embarked on that journey and I was quite optimistic that I could reach my goal. I got into writing, dancing, music, editing, and also I engaged into a sport - football. I can't really elaborate all my experiences during all those years but I could only say that it was truly a great feeling to to learn as much from those endeavors. On that moment, I felt like I have finally gotten out of my shell and I didn't regret not trying. I guess it's true that life stops when you stop learning; and that time, I felt alive and fulfilled with what the world had rewarded me. Indeed, I successfully took that first big leap. I've conquered my fear of failure because of my eagerness to learn was outweighed it.

The world has much to offer; we have so much more to learn. We are all equipped with potentials and it is up to us on how we would discover them and make use of them. All of us want to know who we are and what our purpose is; but not all of us have the courage to make these things into reality. What really is hindering us from doing so? Why do we feel trapped in our own ignorance and insecurity? The answer is simple - we are predominated by our fears. We are afraid to fail, afraid and to be put to shame. On some instances, our fear of failure outweighs our desire for success.

However, failures in life are inevitable. I have failed several times and I also have faced criticisms. Especially in writing my essays for our school paper, I really had to be careful in what I write. On a lot of times, I do get afraid that maybe I might offend someone, or maybe many would disagree on my opinions about certain issues. Though I've accumulated a few years of experienced in essay-writing, I always get anxious before making my write-ups. I’m afraid that I would be wrong or that I'd be unable to meet the expectations of people on me. What if I disappoint them? I always get disturbed by these thoughts whenever I try to write the first word on the paper.  But through time, I've learned to accept that the fear of failure is a part of life. For sure, I'd be facing more of these in the future.

It is not only the fear of failure that bothers me, but that of uncertainty as well.  In a few months, I would be setting sail for a voyage in my chosen career. I do not know what awaits me there and I do not know who will help me in this voyage. However, one thing's for certain – I have to face it. I have to step out of my comfort zone to serve a greater purpose. They say a ship is safe in its harbor but that’s not what ships are built for. I know the past seventeen years I have lived would be entirely different from the next years to come. During these past years, I believe my experiences have molded  me to be strong and brave enough for me to journey through the ocean of life. I know my this chapter of my life ends here, but I suppose that the lessons I've learned are sufficient to propel me onto the real world for the rest of my life.