Journey to the Underworld

I have often wandered to the darkest corners of my inner self in times when I had to build back from a tragic fall. The journey to the underworld - I see it as my own system's mechanism of internal troubleshooting. It never is a happy pursuit; but I know it's something that is necessary.  At the end of all these trips, I'd always pick up elements that reinforced my insufficient state of being; and every time I resurfaced, I emerged with a sense of placidity and newfound courage.

There's been a recurrent experience of mine recently. I noticed that even when no tragedy is occurring in my conscious reality, I always end up getting summoned into this realm. These episodes occur in indefinite periods. After assessing the situation, I thought to myself that surely this couldn't be a decision made by my conscious self. I know I would rather have all my focus on real matters because there are roles I have to perform in the waking life. For me, it's truly inconvenient when I can't perform my obligations well. So why do I keep coming back? Well I thought about that for quite some time and I later realized that I may have inadvertently established a two-way street with the subsurface domain. Now it gets to me before I get to it. It was disorienting to be dragged out of reality and being forced to break away from the comfort of your daily routine; but I started to think that it's possibly the price to pay for harnessing strength from the underworld.

Despite all these, I can say that the whole situation is far from being out of control. From my experiences, I know I'd snap out and revert to my normal state at some point. When I've plunged to deep, there's something that always pulls me back to the surface - a lifeline I didn't even know I had. For something so mysterious and unpredictable, it turns out that this system has its own safety measures; and I definitely need that since it's still too much of a risk to navigate further at my current level. There's no assurance that I could still be in control if I'd stubbornly dare to move forward; that explains why it's necessary to abandon the unknown and return to familiarity.

It's one thing to row towards the middle of the lake where you can be free from external influences; while it's another to dive to the bottom of it and confront whatever lies underneath. One can be easily practiced while the other has a certain degree of risk. Too much self exploration may alienate you from the real world if you're unable to successfully acclimate back to the social norm.