I beginning to think that this is already taking a toll on me. With all the hysteria and lack
of social interaction just really
came to a point where I've ran out of plans on what to make of all the
time that I have. There are a lot of possible things that I could do but I just could not generate any interest, or the willpower for any of them. Right
now it seems I 'm in a strange period of dryness and general apathy
towards life. maybe its a defense mechanism against the negativity that could swallow me. I feel like even when good things do happen, I could
barely appreciate them knowing my life is still up to no good. I need to
sort that out. I am still looking for that stability. I need to relearn
how to walk with my own feet. something that seemed so trivial in the
past but now is so challenging. Life is calling me again to venture to
the world outside despite all its dangers. You'd think I have my
life all figure out; but I don't. Guess I need to confront my own cowardice and to
continue to live, to find my own place and establish myself in the world I'm a part of.
