There were battles I lost, there were battles I won. There were rough tracks that brought me down but I never stopped running. I kept on running away from the cold fears that wanted to freeze my feet. I kept running after the light that I've set my eyes upon. I kept on stumbling, failing but never wanted to quit. I've always looked back to remember what I've been through. I've always looked ahead to see where I was going.
But then I got exhausted; I lost focus. Suddenly, everything around me was covered by heavy mist. I could barely breath, I could barely see. All of I thought of was survival and I couldn't keep my eyes on the road. I was almost lost. It was still a long wearisome journey and I didn't know where it would end. There was probably a slim chance I'd reach the finish line but I knew I was not going to win.
Then I lost track of everything. I woke up with nothing but a little sense of relief, and a heavy feeling of desolation. It came upon to my realization that I was out of the race. How terrible. I knew I was in misery but I never wanted to take any escape route out of it. I can't run that race anymore; and it wasn't I who decided such. I've been forced to quit as a consequence of those various circumstances. Maybe I thought I had the strength to push through; but all along I was slowly dying. I was so preoccupied running, battling challenges that I forgot to look at myself. I was unaware I incurred so much wounds.
Everything after has been vague. I don't know what fate has in store for me. I know I'm still yet to figure out how to start a new beginning. But what for? If I don't have the strength to do so, then why would I even start? There's been a lot of doubts running through my mind, a lot of questions to be answered. Now where do I run? I no longer have an idea on what I want to achieve. If life truly is a race, it seems like I've just been thrown out of it.
All these things are weighing me down but I can't allow myself to give in and drown endlessly. Despite everything, I still believe that time will allow me to recover my strength and reignite that fire within me. I may have lost this battle but I know there's still something that's left of me. Somehow, I am thankful for that. I know I can run again; but this time it's a new path I should set for. It's definitely terrifying but I know it will only allow me to learn better. All these experiences, both good and bad, they will be crucial for my own development.
