I've crossed the finish line. Finally, no more requirements, exams, and other academic responsibilities to concern myself with. This semester's finals week was the busiest one I had yet. I couldn't even remember whether I had normal sleep in any of those days since I had to burn the midnight candle to maximize time. The week however didn't really turn out that well as I've envisioned since I mismanaged my time on some occasions but it wasn't really that much of a blunder. There were times when things got quite burdensome especially when working on those subjects I was less interested with. During the week, I've also had some new experiences like going out at 2 am just to get something to eat. That's something I haven't done before and I think it's some little achievement. Well, that's not really much, I know; but I also had a significant-but-not-so-good experience.
On the beginning of the week, I had a composed and optimistic attitude towards my responsibilities. Everything was supposed to be perfect. I was already prepared to undertake all the work; but unexpectedly, there was some stumbling block ahead. The very next day, my morale was absolutely shattered to an exponential extent. I've never felt so disappointed in years. The thing was that I studied for a final exam the night before, and in the morning. It was not just my usual study session, and I also don't usually study unless I like the subject. I exerted more effort since I knew I had to improve in that area. I was so determined that I used whatever techniques just to instill everything in my mind. I knew I wouldn't perfectly excel in the test; but I expected my efforts would somehow pay off. However, it didn't. When I was taking the test, it seemed like I had zero idea of what I was given with. It was not the kind of test I readied for. It turned out that the questions revolved around only on a small part of what was supposed to be; opposite from my expectation of a set of questions covering a wider range and not that detail-specific. Well, I got a low score obviously. It wasn't about the grade I was frustrated of; it was about all the effort that transpired into nothing. At the end of the day, I felt horribly tired because I only had 3 hours of sleep; and all the disappointment added up to that. I was not sad, I was furious. I knew I did my part and I was contented with what I have done; but all these did not seem to reflect just because of some irregular and unpredictable system.
That incident affected me for the remainder of the week but I knew I had to move on and fulfill my other tasks. As what I am, I usually accept my downfalls and find inspiration in them; but this time, it was impossible. I've felt so destroyed that my outlook was shaken. Though it was just a minor subject that deserved little attention, I didn't consider that, and I committed myself to it. In the end, I was left in distress. I don't exactly know how I got myself through all of it but I've managed to bury it on the depths of my mind. I can't say that I've performed well enough through the week but I was still able to work on my other requirements and pass them on time.
Well, the past is all behind me now. I've somehow forgotten all the finals week drama. The semester has ended and I can finally have my well-deserved rest. What's next? Grades. Yes, I still had to wait for my grades to be released. I had to keep on checking my grades from time to time on different parts of the day just to ease my angst. When a classmate says a grade has been released, I'd always panic before I log into the school website. I knew I had my expectations but I had to be open to other possibilities just to avoid disappointment.
On the beginning of the week, I had a composed and optimistic attitude towards my responsibilities. Everything was supposed to be perfect. I was already prepared to undertake all the work; but unexpectedly, there was some stumbling block ahead. The very next day, my morale was absolutely shattered to an exponential extent. I've never felt so disappointed in years. The thing was that I studied for a final exam the night before, and in the morning. It was not just my usual study session, and I also don't usually study unless I like the subject. I exerted more effort since I knew I had to improve in that area. I was so determined that I used whatever techniques just to instill everything in my mind. I knew I wouldn't perfectly excel in the test; but I expected my efforts would somehow pay off. However, it didn't. When I was taking the test, it seemed like I had zero idea of what I was given with. It was not the kind of test I readied for. It turned out that the questions revolved around only on a small part of what was supposed to be; opposite from my expectation of a set of questions covering a wider range and not that detail-specific. Well, I got a low score obviously. It wasn't about the grade I was frustrated of; it was about all the effort that transpired into nothing. At the end of the day, I felt horribly tired because I only had 3 hours of sleep; and all the disappointment added up to that. I was not sad, I was furious. I knew I did my part and I was contented with what I have done; but all these did not seem to reflect just because of some irregular and unpredictable system.
That incident affected me for the remainder of the week but I knew I had to move on and fulfill my other tasks. As what I am, I usually accept my downfalls and find inspiration in them; but this time, it was impossible. I've felt so destroyed that my outlook was shaken. Though it was just a minor subject that deserved little attention, I didn't consider that, and I committed myself to it. In the end, I was left in distress. I don't exactly know how I got myself through all of it but I've managed to bury it on the depths of my mind. I can't say that I've performed well enough through the week but I was still able to work on my other requirements and pass them on time.
Well, the past is all behind me now. I've somehow forgotten all the finals week drama. The semester has ended and I can finally have my well-deserved rest. What's next? Grades. Yes, I still had to wait for my grades to be released. I had to keep on checking my grades from time to time on different parts of the day just to ease my angst. When a classmate says a grade has been released, I'd always panic before I log into the school website. I knew I had my expectations but I had to be open to other possibilities just to avoid disappointment.
I have been a little anxious waiting for my grades, but I've finally felt relieved since everything turned out to be just fine in the end. All of my final grades have already been released as of today and I can say they're not that bad after all. I mean, it could have been worse so I can say I am satisfied with what I have received. It's actually quite unimaginable how things have turned around greatly. With some serious determination and effort, somehow I have managed to avoid the plunge. Out of eleven subjects, only two have decreased; while some have improved significantly. It's great to have ended the semester with fulfillment and not with disappointment. Though I may have made some mistakes along the course, what's more important was the learning process outside of the classroom. Having dealt with the challenges, I am really thankful not only for surviving my second year in college but more importantly on being able to concurrently cope up and learn during the process.
Right now, being officially a third year student gives me mixed feelings. It's an achievement to have reached this stage; but it's also a big challenge. Although making it this far says a lot, I am remaining unconfident with the idea of it. I know there's a lot to be undertaken and I am not sure whether I am already capable to do so. But well, that's life. You never know fully what's up ahead and you can't say you're always ready for everything. Along the course of time, I witness my destiny unfold and I know I have to not lose track of my goal. I guess what matters more is not about what tomorrow will be, but my attitude towards it. There's just a whole lot of things to learn and these will be building blocks for my future. I am enticed with the idea of acquiring more knowledge but consequently, I also have to develop the right character so I could keep on going on the path that I have chosen to pursue.
Right now, being officially a third year student gives me mixed feelings. It's an achievement to have reached this stage; but it's also a big challenge. Although making it this far says a lot, I am remaining unconfident with the idea of it. I know there's a lot to be undertaken and I am not sure whether I am already capable to do so. But well, that's life. You never know fully what's up ahead and you can't say you're always ready for everything. Along the course of time, I witness my destiny unfold and I know I have to not lose track of my goal. I guess what matters more is not about what tomorrow will be, but my attitude towards it. There's just a whole lot of things to learn and these will be building blocks for my future. I am enticed with the idea of acquiring more knowledge but consequently, I also have to develop the right character so I could keep on going on the path that I have chosen to pursue.
